He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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