new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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