Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize