well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
