your room smells of hookers.
And success
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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