Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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