I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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