Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
