oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
