I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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