He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
