I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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