Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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