She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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