i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
