yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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