god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
