i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
