dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
