it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
