so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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