I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize