you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
