Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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