i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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