how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
