I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
