It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
