Betty ford says i'm here all night
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
