But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
My feet surprised me
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