The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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