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I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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