It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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