It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
