Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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