I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
