Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
