well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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