dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
