cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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