i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
