Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
