I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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