Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
