Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I intend to get homeless drunk
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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