I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
