What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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