highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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