How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
