I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
bring money and cleavage
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
