yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
