Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
