too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
