Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize