I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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