Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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