Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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