i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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