I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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