the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
