Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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