How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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