what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The feeling are messing with the penis
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
