Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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