why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
