You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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