Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize