i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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