Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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