For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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